The woman who lives to benefit others

Her children mean everything to her

Many people pass us by in our lives but often only the bad draw our attention whereas the good people pass by without us noticing them. This is because of the humble nature of the latter. We are too busy with our lives that we fail to pay any attention to them. If only we pause
a while and reflect on their goodness we may be better persons in this world, where the good seem to be rarely appreciated and rewarded. The bad on the other hand seem to be rewarded with one success after another. Every person, big or small, weak or strong, rich or poor, has something to contribute to us, the good must be an example of what we should be and the bad of what we should not be.

Mdm.Q is one such person who crossed my life whom I consider should be an example of what we should all ape. She may not have high academic qualifications, no position of power or wealth but she remains a living example of what a human should be – live to benefit someone else other than your own self and family. She may not have a towering physique but she possesses the great virtues that many of us badly lack – discipline, righteousness and kindness.

Mdm.Q is now in her fifties and lives with her family, a husband and three beautiful children. Since her marriage in her mid-twenties she ploughed her way through life with the man she chose to build a successful and happy family which meant everything to her. Her family was her life and it was the centre of the world for her. She gave everything she had for the well being of her family.

Since she got married she adopted her husband’s family as her own. She never stopped her husband from helping his family but only encouraged him to do more for them. This is a rare situation these days where the daughter-in- law creates a lot of problems for the family into which she gets married, which results in the breakup of a once happy and united family.

In the case of Mdm.Q, she is so close to her in-laws that they confide more in her than their own children. Her late father-in-law had such an exalted opinion of her which he confessed during the final days of his life. To me this speaks volumes of the inherent goodness of Mdm.Q who goes out of the way to offer her services to anyone whom she meets not just her children or members of her own family.

Mdm.Q has a very special love for her children. She takes great pains to ensure all their needs are taken take of – food, clothing, and health and she is particularly a good companion for them. Food has always been a very important component of her love. When she got married she did know how much about cooking but today she is a fantastic cook able to prepare any dish be it Indian, Chinese or Western cuisine. It was all because of her love for the children that inspired her to go all out to learn cooking the hard way of trial and error. Although many have tasted her food there is yet one to say anything negative about her cooking.

She wakes up every day before five in the morning so that breakfast can be ready before the children to go school. She continues to do that religiously day after day without fail for over 20 years. Even the cockroaches and rats which she fears so much could deter from doing that. I am told one can count the number of days when she had failed to get up in time. Such was her discipline and commitment to her children whom she loved so much.

She left her daughter under the care of her mother-in-law as achid as she could not find a baby sitter to satisfy her requirements. When she realized that her daughter was not getting enough of her personal attention, Mdm.Q willingly gave up her job without making a fuss unlike many others.In fact her close friend commended her saying "You have done something which many would like to but not brave enough to do so".

From then on she became a full time housewife to take of her children which she did excellently and continues to do so till today. She often describes her job as a homemaker as more important and challenging than being an income earner which we all will agree.

She slogged day and night to build her beautiful family into a united and tremendously happy one that was the envy of many, friend and foe alike. God was so happy with her but He wanted to reveal more of her goodness for others to follow and so He decided to give her some greater challenges in her life in the form of her children.

He sons did not do that well in their studies as expected in our materialistic, competitive and selfish society. However they were great in ways that are far more important than academic excellence. Their love, obedience and loyalty to her are more valuable than all the As in examinations. Mdm.Q accepted their shortcomings with so much humility and full trust in God believing that He has His strange ways of rewarding people who do good without any ulterior motives. I am very sure the Lord will reward her for this unshakable trust in Him in the near future.

Greater challenge and shock came in the form of her daughter who made a very major mistake in the choice of her life partner.The daughter’s choice breached every principle in life that were so dear to the mother - righteousness, honesty and high morals. The choice upset her so much that she was terribly shaken mentally, emotionally and physically. It is strange and puzzling that despite all the love and sacrifice rendered in bringing them up some children turn out to be disobedient and rebellious. This is the greatest pain that Mdm.Q is unable to endure.

Yet she says she has full confidence that God will bring a change in the daughter for the better. She believes that He will guide her sons to succeed in their lives. She strongly believes that God has His own reasons for trying her. She firmly believes that God will only try the good but will never forsake them when it really matters.

In fact all her children are wonderful in their own ways, being very good and full of love and extremely caring for the mother. They are polite, simple, courteous and always helpful to those in need including the elders, at a time when the young of today have little time for the elderly and infirm. She says she could not have asked for children better than what she has been bestowed. She always has and will continue to have a special place for them in her heart and her only hope is that they too will have one for her in theirs.

The great Chinese philosopher once said “ Do not do unto others what you do not like when done unto you” and Mdm Q is guided by the believe that we must go out of the way to do to others what we would like them to do to us.

Some people are placed in this world to be used as examples for others to admire and follow or despise and reject. Mdm.Q belongs to the former category. She is a classical example who clearly demonstrates my philosophy in life, “Life is a challenge with ups and downs, what is important in this journey is to do the right thing always under all circumstances and God will always be on our side come what may”.