Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Acts of love and personal freedom

The man who wanted freedom over love

Whatever you do there will always be a reaction and this the law of nature. A bad deed will be result in a bad reaction and a good one in good reaction. At times a bad deed may appear to be bringing you happiness but it will not be long. The good will always win at the end of the day. This too is a law of nature as proven over the years. So if you not happy and is always being met with all sorts of mishaps (Illness, financial loss, death, etc) stop and think whether you are doing something wrong or leading some sort of a sinful life. If you are, then its time you change and repent and soon your life may sort itself.

In this world today people especially the young want freedom. They want freedom to do what they want, does not matter whether it is right or wrong. They value freedom more than anything else, including love of those who care for them.

Acts of love by those who care may be seen as interfering in their personal freedom causing them to react with anger. However love in whatever form it takes will always prevail in the end. One day they will realize their folly as a day will come when they will long for such caring people but they may not be there anymore. It will be too late. The true story below illustrates such a situation.

There was once a man named James who originated from very humble beginnings. His father was a carpenter and mother a housewife, both had no formal education. They had three children of which the James was the eldest. His father and mother worked extremely hard to make ends meet, often-working long hours with little rest and food. Their only aim was to educate the children and make them socially elevated in society one day. They loved their children very much and they did everything to make them comfortable in life, to the extent of over-protecting their children. Waking them up, preparing their meals, washing and ironing their clothes and staying vigil to take care of them when they were sick.

They wouldn’t allow James to go out late at night with his friends and even if they did allow, they would insists he comes back early. If he fails his dad would go out and look for him fearing something dreadful could have occurred. In fact their close-knit family was a model for the others in the neighborhood.

James was a very bright student and he excelled in his school obtaining top grade in all his examinations. He loved his parents so much that he would obey everything they tell him without question. Soon he left for the university and became a lawyer. And returned to his hometown to work where he stayed with his parents who were by then much older.

He made new friends at job and soon started to go out with them. He used to frequent nightclubs and parties and return late at night. His parents were not happy and used to stop him from going out but soon James was resenting their tight control of him, often telling them, “Don’t control me too much, I am already an adult”. He used to get angry to see his dad waiting for him when he returns late at night and at times scolds him for treating him a kid. He was in a dilemma. He loved his parents but at the same time he wanted freedom to do what he wanted. With his parents around he could not do freely as he liked. His felt his freedom was curtailed. He knew they did all that out of love but he valued his freedom more than the love of his old parents.

He decided to get a transfer out to the city, which was a hundred miles away. He traveled back once a month to visit his ailing parents who were then much older. James became a successful lawyer in the city and made a lot of money. He continued with his care-free life with friends, parties and women. There was nobody to stop him from going out as and when he wished. No father and no mother to question where he went or what he did. He was very happy with his new found freedom in the big city.

Soon his father died of stroke and his mother also passed away after another year from cancer. He was very saddened by their loss but soon he got over his sorrow and continued with his life as a successful and wealthy lawyer.

One day, several years later, while he was getting ready to for a party in his club with friends, suddenly it started to rain very heavily with strong winds, lightning and thunder. It was an important party and he couldn’t afford to miss it. While waiting for the rain to stop some thought of the past flashed through his mind. . He thought of him late mum who would have not allowed him out in that weather. He remembered how his late father would grumble when he went out in such weather. But now he was all alone, no father or mother to stop him. He had full freedom with which he felt very thrilled.

With great excitement got into his sports cat and left the house in the storm. The rain was blinding and the winds extremely strong. After less than a kilometer away from the house as he was about to turn into the highway, a large trailer skidded and knocked into his car which was crushed badly. He was pinned under his trailer and had to be pulled out by the fire and rescue team that could only arrive an hour late due to the bad weather. They rushed him to the nearby hospital.

He was lucky to survive but both his legs were so badly crushed and had to be amputated. Yes, he survived the tragic accident but lost both his legs at the prime of his life. He was so upset that he wept bitterly for days and weeks. He realized the folly of his new-found freedom. If only he had his parents that night, they would have stopped him from leaving home in that bad weather. He cried incessantly at the thought of his over-protective parents who did that because they loved him so much. He regretted that he did not value the love his parents had for him. He realized that his parent’s acts of love were seen as interference into his personal freedom. He hated them controlling him at that time but now how he wished they were there for him. How he wished they were there to “control” him but it was too lateAll he could do was cry and repent.

It was a little late for James but never late for us, especially the young, to learn that useful lesson from him. Many of us would have gone through such experiences but we were lucky that no such tragedy struck us. When we were young and mighty we hated the over-protective acts of our old parents. We hated their attempts to curtail our freedom. We failed to realize that they did that out of love and not to hinder our joy and happiness. In fact they are the only ones who would go out of the way for our well-being as our happiness is their joy.

Today many of us as parents may be doing the same to our young adult children. Often we try to prevent them from doing things that we know may be dangerous or wrong. We do that out of love for them and not out of spite or curtail their freedom as they may construe. Its only when our children resent our acts of love and blatantly disobey us do we realize how hurtful our parents would have been when we resented their acts of love before. The arrogance of our youth at that time blinded the extraordinary love of our well-meaning parents.

Acts of love by those who care may be seen as interfering in our personal freedom causing us to react with anger. But one day we will realize our folly as we will long for such caring people who may not be there anymore. It may be too late.

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