Father & son

Reflecting on the past makes one a better person

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?"

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A

CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born.On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow
was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I
replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each
time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not
at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father hadfelt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and whentoday the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

So....

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as aburden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble andkind to them. Be considerate to your parents. From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since Iwas a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me.


They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat tomake me a person presentable in the society today".

Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I willsay all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

Forget the bad,remember the good of others

To forgive may be divine but to forget is human

Life these days is so competitive that it has become so stressful that many of us have lost the peace and tranquility of the innocent and care free childhood days. Most of the time the unhappiness in our inner self is due to our own making – taking to heart the bad others do to us and forgetting the good they have done. If we can reverse this situation then our lives may be more peaceful, contended and happier. The following story illustrates this fact very nicely.

There were 2 good friends who set out on a journey across a desert to another town. As they were walking on the desert sands it was hot and they were getting tired and exhausted. There were some disagreements between them on a certain issue. In the spurt of anger one of them slapped the other for passing a sensitive remark.

The man who received the strike took it calmly but he wanted to record his displeasure at what his friend has done to him. As they were all alone in the middle of the desert, there was nobody for him to narrate his displeasure of what his friend had done to him. All he could do was squat down and write on the sand the words, “My best friend slapped me today”.

They continued their journey not talking much to each other until they reached an oasis. There was a stream and they decided to take a bath and freshen up before proceeding with their journey. While they were in the stream a swift current swept the man who was hit before into the depths of the river and as the man could not swim he shouted for help. There was no one else in the vicinity except his friend who had earlier slapped him. His friend quickly without hesitation dived in and saved him.

Soon when they had finished washing up they wanted to continue their journey. The man who almost drowned wanted to record the latest incident as well. He saw a large rock standing near by and he carved the following words on it, “My best friend saved my life today”.

They then continued their journey across the desert and reached their destination. After completing their business there they returned home along the same path a few days later. At the same oasis they noticed the words on the rock written earlier very clearly, “My best friend saved my life today”. On reaching the place where the man was slapped they could not see the words written on the sand, “My best friend slapped me today”. The winds had blown and erased those words away.

The friend who slapped asked the other for the reason for writing the way he did. To that his friend answered, “the bad you did to me I wrote on sand which was blown away but the good you did I wrote on rock and that it will remain forever. You are my friend, I will keep to heart the good you do to me not the bad”.

This is what we should do in our own lives - forget the bad others do to us but remember forever the good they do. If we can do that life will be more peaceful and happy.

Dr.Chris Anthony

Caring for parents, a sacred obligation not an option

Love makes sacrifice a pleasure

I refer to your report “Minister: Time has not come to punish those who abandoned parents” (Star April 12).

There is no doubt Malaysians generally still love their parents but regrettably the number of those who don’t is on the rise. I dread to imagine the day when the government has to resort to legislation to enforce this love for parents by their children.

With increasing standard of living the life expectancy of the average Malaysian has prolonged. Today our parents are healthier and live longer than before. This has put greater strain on our financial and physical resources to care for their special needs at their advanced age.

Caring for our elderly parents has become a problem these days when both husband and wife have to work to make ends meet. In addition to that we have to provide for the needs of the children which are increasing tremendously over the years.

There is no doubt that we have to give priority to our own spouse and children.At the same time we also have a duty towards our aged parents. Some of them may be healthy while others may suffer from various illnesses or even be bed-ridden.

Very often it is impossible for us to be there physically all the time to care for them especially those who are very old and infirm. We have no choice but to send them to an old folk’s home where their basic needs and nursing care are available. In our Asian culture sending our parents to old folks home is considered a despicable and ungrateful act. Is it really so?

There are 2 main needs of an elderly person, companionship and medical. No single individual can provide both of these effectively. On the other hand a properly run old folk’s home, staffed with doctors and nurses, may be better poised to provide both these needs reasonably well. Unfortunately such a home is hard to come by and if it does it is often beyond the means of many.

Sending our aged parents to old folks home should not necessarily mean we are ungrateful and cruel.Honouring our parents is not just providing food and shelter but being a companion to rid them of the loneliness and fear that grips them in the twilight years of their lives.

There are many aged parents who are captives in their own homes. There may be many in the family but yet the elderly are left lonely and despised as no one has the time to spare for them. We easily forget the days when they showered all the love we needed without any ulterior motive. To them then, love for us made their sacrifice a pleasure not pain.

We must fight this disease of abandoning the parents that is inflicting our society. Our treatment of our elderly parents, like our children, must always be guided by our love for them. Wherever they may be, in our homes or in an old folk’s home, they must always be in our hearts.

Dr.Chris Anthony

Government hospitals should lead by example

I refer to your report “Chua: Have a heart”(Star April 6).

We should support the call by Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek to private hospitals to give affordable heart surgery to those to the poor. In fact all forms of surgery and other treatment should be at affordable fee.

While we support his call to private hospitals to fulfill their social obligations to the community at large it would be not only feasible but ridiculous to arrange for the poor to be treated in Bangalore,India.This would not only be more costly overall but would also amount to abdicating our responsibility to our own rakyat.

The government has very advanced medical centers throughout the country for which the health ministry should be commended. Many patients continue to benefit from these facilities provided by the government, but there is still plenty of room for improvement in the quality of these services to the rakyat especially those from the lower income group.

The waiting time for heart surgery is undeniably very long and a significant number of them succumb to fatal heart attacks while waiting for definitive surgical treatment. There is also unacceptably long waiting time even for investigations and simple operations in most government hospitals. Even appointments to see specialist is too long for the comfort of these poor patients.

Furthermore most district hospitals may be well equipped but lack the services of specialists. They are manned by very junior medical officers and these hospitals really act to resuscitate and subsequently transporting the patients to bigger hospitals.

The Health Ministry should set the example for private hospitals to follow. It should improve the quality and efficiency of it services at all hospitals,especially for the poor. Specialist care, latest investigations and surgery should be made more easily available to them in a much shorter waiting time.

Dr.Chris Anthony

Malaysia is for all

We must remain united

All citizens regardless of their race and religion should rally behind the Raja Muda of Perak Raja Nazrin Shah’s call that this country belongs to all. No particular community should claim exclusive rights to the ownership of the country and its future.

We have come a long way since independence in building our nation through the comradeship among the various ethnic groups. We fought together side by side for independence and the communist insurgency and it was the unity among the races that brought us success in these two major battles.

Together we toiled, in the years that followed, to develop our nation from a poor developing nation to a highly developing one and on the brink of achieving our Vision 2020 to make our nation a developed state.All citizens contributed immensely to bring the nation to whare it is today,respected in the international arena.

All these years, we all lived, worked, played, ate, celebrated our various festivities and even prayed together. Little did our racial and religious differences could do to divide us. We considered ourselves first as Malaysians only then as Malays, Chinese or Indians.

This common brotherhood which we had cherished is being threatened today. We are becoming increasingly more divided by race and religion. There is growing suspicion of one another. Our children are segregated in schools for various reasons and they hardly have friends of other races.

It is a strange phenomenon that when we were poor we were united in our struggle against national enemies.Today when we are wealthy we seem to fight among ourselves to the advantage of our competitors from the outside.If this is allowed to continue,all citizens regardless of ethnicity,would be the final losers.

Certain communities feel they are being neglected and denied opportunities to participate in the development on the nation. The minority groups feel they are slowly losing their voices and their rights as guaranteed by the Federal Constitution. These changes are making them lose their sense of belonging and patriotism to the nation which they thought was theirs.

Raja Nazrin’s call is very timely. It may still be not too late to act. Our leaders should take bold steps to reverse these changes that are taking place in our country without delay. There is an urgent need to develop a sense of belonging to the nation among all citizens by providing all their rightful dues as enshrined in the Federal Constitution.

Dr.Chris Anthony

Forget the bad,remember the good of others

To forgive may be divine but to forget is human

Life these days is so competitive that it has become so stressful that many of us have lost the peace and tranquility of the innocent and carefree childhood days. Most of the time the unhappiness in our inner self is due to our own making – taking to heart the bad others do to us and forgetting the good they have done. If we can reverse this situation then our live may be more peaceful, contended and happier. The following story illustrates this fact very nicely.

There were 2 good friends who set out on a journey across a desert to another town. As they were walking on the desert sands it was hot and they were getting tired and exhausted. There were some disagreements between them on a certain issue. In the spurt of anger one of them slapped the other for passing a sensitive remark.

The man who received the strike took it calmly but he wanted to record his displeasure at what his friend has done to him. As they were all alone in the middle of the desert, there was nobody for him to narrate his displeasure of what his friend had done to him. All he could do was write down on the sand the words, “My best friend slapped me today”.

They continued their journey not talking much to each other until they reached an oasis. There was a stream and they decided to take a bath and freshen up before proceeding with their journey. While they were in the stream a swift current swept the man who was hit before into the depths of the river and as the man could not swim he shouted for help. There was no one else in the vicinity except his friend who had earlier slapped him. His friend quickly without hesitation dived in and saved him.

Soon when they had finished washing up they wanted to continue their journey. The man who almost drowned wanted to record the latest incident as well. He saw a large rock standing near by and he carved the following words on it, “My best friend saved my life today”.

They then continued their journey and reached their destination. After completing their business there they returned home along the same path a few days later. At the same oasis they noticed the words on the rock written earlier very clearly, “My best friend saved my life today”. On reaching the place where the man was slapped they could not see the words written on the sand, “My best friend slapped me today”. The winds had blown and erased those words away.

The friend who slapped asked the other for the reason for writing the way he did. To that his friend answered, “the bad you did to me I wrote on sand which was blown away but the good you did I wrote on rock and that it will remain forever.You are my friend,I will keep to heart the good you do to me not the bad”.

This is what we should do in life, forget the bad others do to us but remember forever the good they do. If we can do that life will be more peaceful and happy.

Dr.Chris Anthony

Responsible police vital to rakyat

Police are public servants too

I refer to your report “Family of victim claims cops insulted them”(Star March 21, 2007).

If the allegations of the family of kidnap victim,Tengku Adhwa Syafinas, are true the police officers responsible are in severe breach of discipline and the authorities should come hard on the. At a time when our new IGP a has pledged to restore full confidence in the Royal Malaysian Police the lackadaisical attitude of these police officers are what we least require.

Such irresponsible and insensitive behaviour should not be tolerated. Appropriate action must be taken immediately to arrest such behaviour from spreading among other members of our police force.

I am sure such irresponsible officers are few but the action of this small number could tarnish the good reputation of the whole police force and jeopardize the efforts of the IGP.

Whether the victim is a drug addict or involved in undesirable activities is not the issue. The real issue here is that a crime is being reported by a member of the public. The police, as the guardian of security of the rakyat, should act swiftly to protect and save the public from danger and not act as both the judge and executor of justice.

Dr.Chris Anthony

National schools must reflect the racial diversity

Racial integration and unity are national assets

Last week a national daily carried a report on a study conducted by The Cognitive and PsychoSocial Profile of Malaysian Adolescents (CoPs) on Malaysian teens on a very important issue,racial integration.

It is not surprising that the survey concluded that many youngsters aren't concerned about racial integration. However it is surprising that 10.7% never eat breakfast and 8% have never used a computer. These figures are something for our leaders to give some serious thought as we are just more than a decade away from achieving of vision of a developed nation.

There is no doubt that our education system as it is now is the main cause of racial segregation. Instead of dumping the children of the various races together from a very young age, we have actually separated them into separate classes to facilitate religious instruction.Susequently as though this was not enough, we further segregated them into vernacular schools. There is hardly any contact among the various races from a very early age. If this does not breed racial segregation then what does?

It is easy to blame the vernacular schools for the failure of national schools to integrate the various races. We must go a step further to find out why many parents opted for vernacular schools. The reason is obvious and does not a genius to detect - the unsatisfactory environment that is prevalent in national schools. Our national schools have in fact taken a more religious stance for the comfort of non-Malays. Having sent all my children to national schools, I can say for sure we are left with no option but vernacular schools.

I am sure if our national schools reflected the ethnic diversity of the nation among students and teachers, most parents would prefer to send their children to these schools as it was in the sixties and seventies.

The unhealthy environment in our national schools led to the recent call by the Raja Muda of Perak Raja Dr Nazrin Shah for a more balanced racial composition of school leaders, teachers and students that would reflect the multi-racial composition of the nation. I like to echo the recent statement by our Education Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Tun Hussein. “Schools should have a conducive and balanced environment and the ministry must have the political will to handle this well and not make it a racial issue”.

Our children in schools are segregated and they are happy to just interact among those from their own communities. As children and teenagers they do not see the need to interact with others until they come out to work in a very competitive world. Racial unity and harmony are assets that must be taught to be treasured and cherished from an early age

We all know the problem and the solutions but do we have the political will to implement them?

Dr.Chris Anthony